You don't have to leave to start protecting yourself. Some things that help:

• Memorize (don't store) important phone numbers — a trusted friend, family member, or the hotline
• Identify a safe room in your home — one with a door that locks and ideally a phone
• Know your exits. Mentally practice leaving if needed
• Keep important documents accessible — ID, passport, bank cards, medical records
• Set aside some emergency cash if possible, somewhere he won't find it
• Consider a code word with a trusted friend that signals you need help

Leaving is the most dangerous time. Plan carefully:

• Don't tell him in advance. Leaving is not a conversation.
• Go when he's not home if possible
• Take children, pets, medications, IDs, passports, financial documents
• Go somewhere he doesn't know — a friend he hasn't met, a shelter, a different city
• Change your passwords and review who has access to your accounts and devices
• Consider a domestic violence shelter — they're confidential and many have resources for getting back on your feet
• Call the National DV Hotline to help make a safety plan specific to your situation

Abusers often monitor phones, email, and location. Protect yourself:

• Use a browser you're not usually on (incognito mode, different browser) for sensitive searches
• Check for shared location services — Apple Family Sharing, Google Maps, Find My
• Review apps that might share your location — Snapchat, Instagram, WhatsApp
• Check your phone for tracking apps — abusers sometimes install them without telling you
• Create a new email account on a device he doesn't access
• Change passwords on a device he's never had access to

If you've found a tracking app, call the hotline before removing it — removing it can sometimes signal to an abuser that you're planning to leave.

Children in homes with domestic abuse are affected even when they're not direct targets. Their safety matters too.

• Teach children to call 911 in an emergency
• Practice a code word with them for "call for help"
• Identify a safe adult they can go to
• Do not ask children to keep secrets or gather information — that's an adult's responsibility
• Consider talking to a school counselor who can be a safety contact